For each of the projects write a paragraph that offers at least 5 points of constructive criticism or needs improvement and at least 4 points of positive feedback. Post this feedback to the appropriate blog entry by 5:00 p.m. tonight. Sign your initials to your feedback.
Write your criticism/feedback here:
The content looks good. It’s long, and has pictures. They also interviewed people, and had interesting conversations with them. It really tied in with the community. However, there should be more pictures, and in places where there are pictures, they should be larger. Having a lot of content is good, but it seems really way too long. There needs to be a “break” of sorts during long passages. What about a summary? Better analysis?
It was super cool that you guys actually interviewed residents to give some realness to your project. I enjoyed your video as well as the layout. Your explanation of what the blog was intended for was also interesting to me. On the flip side, you could definitely add some more stuff, such as pictures, videos, a timeline, and cite your sources. It does seem a tad unfinished, perhaps summarizing more would help make it seem more complete. Nice work!
This website was really interesting due to the fact that you took many perspectives. The fact that you used a video to help demonstrate what it was supposed to be and then had personal accounts was really cool. Plus, the fact that your accounts were from someone of mixed culture and a Vietnamese man allowed the story to be told from a different perspective than the usual white man. Also the fact that the website contained both positive and negative aspects of the suburbs as well as past and present helped to shape the picture of what the suburbs were and are. However, the website seemed to be based off of personal accounts so make sure there is factual bits in there also. Also, make sure there is easy access to sources and links that you have in your website as well as highlighting the important information you have, additionally, there was a lot of text so try to include some graphics such as pictures or a time line to break it up.
I’ll start with the positive feedback. I like how you interviewed people about Lakewood, because it is always better to get multiple perspectives about such a broad area. I liked the layout of each page how it continually scrolled to the bottom and the titles and headings looked nice as well. I also liked how the motto of Lakewood was included in the title, “Times Change, Values Don’t.” For improvement, I think that the pictures need to be bigger, the amount of text on each page needs to be condensed, the font could be made to something more interesting, and the background was really plain. Also, maybe make a little summary on the home page of why and how you went about interviewing the different people.
This project had an interesting approach that I enjoyed reading about. The personal accounts from individuals of varied perspectives offered a great way to understand the culture of Lakewood and its people. The video in the beginning was interesting and helpful to set up the topic of suburbia and Lakewood specifically. I appreciate the topics covered as it incorporates multiple aspects of a suburban town and effectively describes the entirety of a suburb such as Lakewood. The first thing I noticed was the confusing title of the page. I understand that Lakewood was called “Tomorrow’s City Today” and it was a twist to the phrase, but I do think it could be written better. Scrolling through the page I was initially deterred from the wall of text and it made it difficult to read. I believe it would be best if there were more pictures and coordinated breaks within the paragraphs to separate and better focus on certain aspects. The project contained a lot of information of personal account and possibly could use more analysis on factual topics. The transcribed interviews lacked a common format that effected the flow of the reading and unity of the project. Lastly, I believe there could be an improvement on navigation of the page if you decide to click on the side buttons “Recent Places”. A simple menu bar would solve this. – WDH
It’s nice how you did an interview with different people. It’s a great way to get personal information. You had good details about Lakewood’s past and how it is now. Your formatting was done well (I liked the question and answer section) and was easy to follow. It was also nice how you had a video to show how Lakewood was in the past/ how it was constructed. However, some of the pictures that you used were a little too small and hard to see, like the pie chart. You could also have some tabs on the side or the top to divide it up into sections so it’s not just one long page. Also, it would have been nice to have sub headings for each topic that you mentioned since it seemed like your paragraphs were clustered together and didn’t seem too appealing to read. Another thing is to have in text citations and to put in a little more analysis. Overall, good work; I was able to learn more about the history of Lakewood!
I like how your research was interview-based – it adds a more personal touch. And having your thesis/intro first was helpful in tying it in with your posts. Maybe have separate pages for your posts, so nothing gets lost while scrolling. In-text citations would be useful. The reflections at the end of each interview were quite thoughtful. Posts relate fairly well to each other, which is good. The layouts between posts vary – keeping image placement and writing style fairly similar will help with consistency. The website is relatively plain – there are so many unbroken text blocks as well as a great deal of white space. Pictures, particularly of those being interviewed would have been interesting.
Ka Cin Wong:
It was very cool that you chose to do interviews and analyze Lakewood that way. I also liked the analysis you had at the end of each interview. The blog post had some good pictures. The introduction also helped the audiences to know what the blog is about. Some areas for improvement are as followed:
- Timeline of historically significant events in Lakewood? (and how it might tie in with the historical context)
- More pictures to fill in the whiteness
- A background color (theme) to decorate the blog
- Missing thesis (could use introduction to tie in)
- Perhaps divide the posts into more sections to make it easier to navigate through the site
Good work, guys! -KW
This project was very well written with a good amount of content. The website was attractive and easy to navigate, and the pictures were well-chosen. A more decorative website would help, and help to differentiate the project from the blog posts we have done, as they currently look quite similar. More features, such as audio or video, would be nice as well.
The video was a good addition as well as the information about the then and now for each separate piece you wrote about. The interview section was cool, gaining that real world perspective from someone who experiences the airport at first hand all the time. The overall content is really good. However, all the pictures are different sizes and most of them are too small to really see. Maybe break up some of the lengthy paragraphs, and change the font. Have the information about the pictures below that describes when it was taken, what it is, etc.
I liked that you guys did personal interviews. It was unique to a lot of the other projects in that way. I also liked each of your reflections as well. I feel like the interviews and the separate sections could be tied all together a little bit better. The website was difficult to navigate to the interviews. Maybe add an option to click on the interview you want to go to? It was also a lot of scrolling. I would suggest having a different layout. At some parts, the words were too far left and not centered with the rest of the text. Also, I would like to see some more color on the website. Overall, I feel like you guys had good content but it was just difficult to get to it because of the website design.
This project was very fascinating. I loved how it was introduced with the video, but you might want to put in an explanation of where you got the video from and an explanation of what it is and how it fits in with your project. Another small issue I found was the distribution of pictures throughout the project. Some posts had them, some didn’t, and some were quite a bit larger than others. You might want to make the use of pictures throughout the project a bit more consistent. The title of the blog itself was a bit confusing, which has the possibility of turning off readers. The part about this project that really set it apart was the personal interview. I would definitely suggest trying to put it closer to the top so readers see it quickly and perhaps indicating that it is an interview in its title. Also it would be nice to have a brief description about who’s story it is. Overall I thought it was beautifully organized and had some really interesting components.
There was a lot of great information on this, and having interviews can really put a more personal perspective of the times and/or places. However, because there was so much information, the home page was a bit of a pain to scroll through, especially when you wanted to go back up to the top. I know that you can view specific posts by clicking on them under “Recent Posts,” but for the homepage, it would be best if you leave the intro but put the rest under a “read more” (if that option is available on WordPress), so it’s easier to scroll through the sections. The full interview of Vietnam to Lakewood should be immediately before or after the “Vietnam to Lakewood” section, but it got separated by “The Long Beach Airport.” Also, each interview seemed to have its own format. If all the posts had similar formats, it would feel more unified and be easier to immediately identify the subsections, especially at which point the interview starts. Nevertheless, great job on all the info you gathered!
I thought you had a nice attention grabber for the introductory paragraph. I also thought you had good photo selections throughout the project. I found the interviewing project in finding out contemporary public perceptions on Lakewood fascinating. I also thought the “Long Beach Airport” post has good pictures and is well-structured.
Some areas to improve, include inserting paragraph breaks throughout the project’s analysis. I also think the project needs more pictures on the blog post. I think there is a repeated image with LBCC counselor interview. Also, I think the blog design should include a background image or a different design scheme to grab reader’s attention. Lastly, the Bibliography at the end is not alphabetized. Overall, I really like your project!