Surf Culture

For each of the projects write a paragraph that offers at least 5 points of constructive criticism or needs improvement and at least 4 points of positive feedback. Post this feedback to the appropriate blog entry by 5:00 p.m. tonight. Sign your initials to your feedback.
Write your feedback here:


David Van:

I really liked how your group’s website looked. The theme you chose is amazing, and the site had a nice layout and interesting posts and content. Posts are short, and straight to the point. The timeline was also good, however the photos were all different sizes, and it was kind of distracting when you switch from one image to another. I also noticed a “new page” tab on your website. Was this a mistake? Or did you mean a “new page” for surfing culture/the city? Anyway, I think the “new page” page could use more photos. Also, while short posts are good, some of the posts might be too short. Also, more analysis could be better.


William Hovik:

This website’s aesthetic was great and an easy read. The information is clearly listed and describes the topics of choice well. The timeline page within the website gave great insight to the history of surf culture and its progression. The images on this timeline and throughout the website allowed for a good understanding of what the individuals of this culture looked like and the application of surfing. Regarding the project as a whole, it could use an overview of the topic and breakdown of what is to be discussed. It seems as if there is clearly defined information on the site, but it could be organized or grouped together better instead of randomly dispersed throughout the pages. The timeline is a great idea but needs to be improved in functionality. It is a little difficult to navigate and could be more effective at relaying the information. There also is some issues with citing sources on the perception page discussing “outsiders had to earn their way in”. Maybe try looking into how to cite that website properly rather than inserting the URL within the sentence. Lastly, the project could expand on the lasting impacts of surf culture on today’s cultures and societies. – WDH


Juna Ideo:

The formatting was nice and you had a good number of pictures (the picture sizes were good too) for each section. Your idea of a timeline was creative and informative, with descriptions in each section. I also like how you had tabs at the top for each topic. You should work a little more on your analysis; tie it in with LA as a whole and how these past events lead to LA today. Also, maybe make a more detailed timeline with pictures of your events so we can see the development of surf culture, and put in text citations. Another creative idea is to have a map with all your events and divide up your paragraphs. They seemed a little too big and clustered, so it would be nice to divide them up into sub sections. Overall, good work; I was able to learn more about surf culture!


Katarina Stiller:

Gorgeous site and photos! The conceptual timeline with the text and images was a particularly nice touch. Sometimes the writing feels rather unfinished. You’ll start on a topic, but then the next paragraph is something completely new without much of a transition. A clear intro/thesis would help with this. In-text citations might be useful as well. The image to text ratio, as well as the image sizing in my opinion looks the best on the war page – you should carry this over to your other pages to increase uniformity and consistency. Having separate pages was a good idea – topics are easy to find.


Anthony Yassa:

Really liked the slideshow on the website, as well as the overall layout of the site. I thought the visual aspects were done very well, although some video would be nice. The written portions were well-written as well. However, the site did look a bit plain in certain places, and I think that audio components would help bring the project together. I also think the project would be helped by a stronger central focus, to tie together the different facets of surf culture you discuss.


Ka Cin Wong:

The picture on the main page was eye catching! Love those blue waves on the photo (good choice)~ The blog posts had good analysis on the surf culture and the sections at the top is helpful for the audience. The site had easy navigation and I liked the contextual timeline. On the other hand, I would like to offer some construction criticism below:

  • In some areas, words are condensed. Perhaps “double space” it so it doesn’t look all squished up
  • The other pages could use more photos to keep the audiences engaged
  • There wasn’t a clear thesis for the blog post
  • This is minor, but it would be nice to alphabetize the references
  • It would be cool to have caption for pictures

Nice work, everyone! – KW


Keaton Nishimi:

I really enjoyed the layout of the page, it was very appealing. The formatting was done well, the timeline was simple and helpful. The captions on the pictures were a good touch. Throughout the pages, there was a clear relationship between the causes and effects of the surf culture. However, the thesis itself was not incredibly strong. The pages were strong on their own, but were not unified by a clear message or thesis. Furthermore, the media (the pictures) were well done, but it was limited. It would be nice to have media other than just the pictures and the timeline. I think there could have been more topics as well, as there were really only two topics that had much depth, and then multiple on the home page, but those were short and mostly descriptive. While there was a lot of good historical context and connections, it wasn’t clear of the lasting effects of the culture.

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Elizabeth Boron-Trotter:

I really liked your website! It looked professional and well made. I believe you picked a great layout and design. It conveyed your information well. The contextual timeline was also really cool and it looked like a lot of work went into it so good job. You guys had a ton of relevant and accurate pictures. All the topics were easy to find and to get to. My constructive criticism would include having the homepage tie the website together. The homepage does talk about the history but there also needs to be a very clear thesis to the website. Also, there was a lot of good historical context but not much discussed about modern surf culture. There are citing issues that need to be fixed. Also your references should be alphabetized.


Pattinson Hayton:

Your group has the best looking website in my opinion. The pictures are related to the content and are aligned well. The slideshow timeline that showed the evolution of surfing, beginning with the effects of World War II on the culture, was a beneficial supplement to the website. Lastly, being able to click on the pages at the top of the website allowed for easy presentation and navigation.

While the website and sources were great, the presentation itself lacked depth – I was more so just taken through the website at a brisk pace without much explanation. The website would look better if the margins were justified. I was also unclear about what the group’s thesis was, as it was never made clear both implicitly or explicitly. I would advise the group to add captions on the pictures for further explanation. The group should also add transitions to the end of each paragraph to allow for a smoother flow of thought for readers.

-PH


Kaicie Messer

This website was excellently created and there were some amazing things done with it. I really enjoyed the different ideas presented in the project, especially the effects World War II had on surfing. There were some slight grammar errors throughout the website, such as “wars” needing an apostrophe in the subheading “The Wars Effect on Surfing”. I really appreciated the overall design of the site and most of the time space on the page was used very effectively. The one small design issue I found was that some of the photos for the timeline seemed a bit small, especially when they were follow by larger pictures. I really like how it incorporated the evolution of surfing into skating, but I was confused about how skateboarding fit with the effects of the war on surfing. The pictures throughout the project were perfect and paired excellently with the content. All in all it was a great project.

-KM

 


Berenice Contreras:

The website itself was by far my favorite. The layout is very easy to navigate. The website possessed a very pleasing layout. I really enjoyed learning about the evolution of surf culture and it’s significance in Southern California. I really enjoyed the visuals you included which perfectly represented surf culture. I also think the text included with the images were very helpful and worked very well together.

There was a lack of depth and specific direction with the topic. I think there was a need for a thesis to bring the overall project together. Also, I felt as if ideas were just listed without unifying them as a whole. They were all very valid points, however they needed some sort of unity. My final suggestion is spelling error fixes. These are all very easy fixes.


Bailey Adling:

I found the topic of the wars affecting surfing to be an interesting point of research and discussion.  I thought the background photo was well fitted and engaging.  I liked the use of the photo slideshow.  Specifically, the captions for the slideshow provided relevant context and details.

Some areas to improve in is to correct some MLA citations.  I noticed that “Teen Culture and Surfing” has improper in-text MLA citations.  For example, it should be “happy ending” (chris).  I noticed that throughout the project, the citation font sizes were inconsistent.  Also the “Wars Effect on Surfing” pictures should have captions.  In that same section, the indenting between paragraphs was inconsistent.  Lastly, the “Perception” section photos needed captions.  Overall, great work!


 

6 Comments

  1. Elvin Mabborang

    I was thoroughly impressed by the page layout and organization — the pictures are awesome, the text is laid out in an appealing format, and the site itself just makes me want to read it (feels more like I’m reading a magazine rather than a blog). The page “The Wars Effect On Surfing” is my favorite page because of the wide but low height photos (very clean and modern) and I feel like the rest of the blog should be like this. The contextual timeline is a great feature and I also dig the small complementary blurb that accompanies it. Some constructive criticism I have is: it should be “The War’s Effect on Surfing,” with an apostrophe on “War’s” (definitely wouldn’t want a typo in a title). Secondly, while I did find the timeline to be pretty dope, I felt that the inconsistency with picture sizing bothered me and it also seemed a little off reading a blurb of text that takes up half the photo (one or two photos suffered from this). Furthermore, I felt that the photos were great, but were recycled from other blog pages; could other relevant photos been substituted instead to provide more diversity? Lastly, I feel like the group could have gone a little more in depth into skating, but I know that is a dedicated topic within itself.

    -EJM

  2. Brianna Maloney

    When you first open the website, it looks very clean and professional which is very aesthetically pleasing. Everything is presented in a very clean and clear manner. The pictures that accompany every aspect of each page definitely help break up the blocks of text and add a nice visual element to the site overall. I think that it was a really large undertaking to tackle all of the different history and aspects of surf culture that they did; it’s a lot of information to work through. I would have to say that my favorite aspect of their project was the Perception page. Being an ex-surfer myself, it always interests me to realize how different sports and lifestyles are perceived by the general human public after being part of it yourself, but knowing that it was in a similar sense to how it was back then when it was first getting started.

    Overall, I think that they did a good job dividing and laying out all of the information in a way that flowed really well, especially with the timeline page. However, it was somewhat overwhelming to have all of that information presented to you, it was a lot to take in all at once, even with the pictures and timeline.

    Because there are so many different aspects of surf culture that they looked at, I think that it lacks a true central focus. Yes, it all relates to surfing and that culture, but there doesn’t seem to be a central idea that they reflect back on– it just feels like a historical narrative about surfing. I just wish there was more of an analysis aspect to it. The website itself looks a lot more refined now, but I know when we were looking at it in class there were some pages that weren’t quite finished. It’s nice to see it more polished. I do wish that there was a video or some auditory aspect that was used instead of some of the blocks of text, again, just to break up the monotony of the text.

    — BAM

  3. Kat Schiller

    Overall, I was most impressed with your use of visually appealing. Your introduction instantly pulled me in and I wanted to take in all your other information. The use of pictures, magazine covers, and popular culture references of the time tied the entire project together. Also, your visual timeline and captions beneath each shot is perfect. When it comes to criticisms, I can say that it was truly difficult to pinpoint 5. Spacing was a bit off at times and not completely cohesive throughout the project. Formatting also varied throughout each individual post. Inserting captions beneath images in your analysis would also help tie everything together. Finally, your source list was not ordered in alphabetical order.

  4. Kirsten Miller

    Your website featured fantastic visuals that made it extremely aesthetically appealing. You offered fantastic historical context and analysis between surf culture and its role as a rebellion against suburban culture as well as the influence pop culture had on popularizing the sport. The timeline was very well done, looking extremely professional. Your link between World War II and the necessary change in materials used for surfboards due to a shortage of available materials was interesting. Your time frame however was slightly confusing. You focused on surf culture as a rebellion to suburban life which sprang up post-World War II, but then went back to World War II. There were some slight typos on the home page which proof-reading will easily fix. Your references should be listed in alphabetical order and the use of an entire link in your in-text citation should be corrected. Your overall exploration of the history and development of surf-culture was extremely interesting; however, I would like to see a slight discussion of surfing in today’s world.

    You put together a fantastic project that clearly demonstrates a great deal of effort and research.

    -KM

  5. Anaid Gonzalez

    The post flows in a chronological order which is very helpful, and other than the last section includes a date, by including the date for the last area it would allow for an estimation for how long the surf culture was actual popular. In the timeline as well, the last slide does not include a date, by including a date then it would help us know when your group believed the end of the surf culture was. While watching the presentation I asked if you knew how actual surfers felt about the surfing movies but I did not get an answer, the feeling of the actual surfers would also get a more personal feeling from them. Throughout the presentation there were many relations to the videos that we saw in class which was very helpful. This being said the gradual transition to skate culture was very fluid, but by including skate culture in the very end of the homepage then the connection will be expected later on in the posts. The images in the posts are flawless, they are all very uniform and have a common theme. It is not evident who did what part of the posts though, so by including initials at the end of different sections then it will be easy to see who did what.

    -AG

  6. Nathan Sollengerger

    Hi,

    I really liked the slideshow aspect of your website. It was really visually appealing, and they gave me an idea of how the media portrayal of surf culture compared to the reality. You guys really seemed to know your information, which was evident when we asked questions.
    My constructive criticisms would be that it was a little text-heavy, the use of white didn’t really seem to fit the theme, the website seemed like it could use a little touching up, it seemed like it lacked direction at the time, and I was a little bit confused regarding the overall cohesion.

    But overall, great job!

    -NS

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